Dad would have been 57 years old on Monday, April 30, 2007. Except he passed away on October 30, 2006 from complications due to Multiple Myeloma, a blood cancer. I was saddend to hear that Kossack Ktakki's father passed on earlier this week and his moving euology inspired me to write some thoughts about dealing with cancer, Stem Cell research, dealing with the Government and ultimately, the saddness of missing my dad. I'm posting this today because I'll be away from the computer on Monday--Celebrating My Father's life in my own way.
My dad worked for the FAA for nearly 35 years. He deticated his life to being the watchdog for the FAA. He was a quality control officer, mainly dealing with the contractors who were building the Radar systems around the United States. He never let up on them and never let them get away with shoddy work. He caught them trying to overcharge the government several times and was given awards for watchfulness. At the end of his career, he had mentored more then three successors and gained agency wide noteriety. Throughout his career, he did what he loved best: He traveled all over the United States and then the world, usually taking his loving wife with him.
Dad was a life long Democrat who married a staunch Nixon republican. (?) Although it sounds odd, he never let that get to him much. He kept up with current events and knew he had won when a coworker stated how impressed he was by my knowlegde of politics and current events at age 13. My Dad started introducing me as the "Political One". He encouraged my debate club, my Political Action Club and my trip to Participate in the Mock Congress. He knew I'd end up in DC someday.
In May of 2001, he was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. The Oncologist who had previously saved my Mother from Breast Cancer delivered the news with a heavy heart. They decided that agressive treatment was the best course of action since the MM was already in Stage 4. In August of 2001, George W. Bush made his first televised announcement on Stem Cell research. We both watched intently as he delivered his decision, the future of my father's treatment was at stake. I knew that dubya was lying; I had been doing my own research on what Stem Cell treatments could promise my dad in his stage of MM. I was secretly crushed when I heard that he would no longer allow any new lines to be created. My father saw this as promise. I did not have the heart to tell him that any hope of a prefected stem cell treatment had been severely slowed down.
On October 30, 2005, Dad walked me down the aisle and asked my husband to promise to take good care of me. He wasn't sure he was going to make it to that day, but was happy that he did. He went on to get progressively worse throughout the rest of 2006. In August 2006 my extended family vacationed in Myrtle Beach, SC. It was the last time he would be coherent.
Dad was a fighter until the end. His desire to fight the cancer he was burdened with ended with a long car ride to Little Rock, Arkansas. The University of Arkansas is home to the best Multiple Myeloma research and treatment facility in the United States. I flew down to visit him in the beginning of October and we talked about his getting better. We talked about visiting the Bill Clinton Presidential Library and paying out respects to Slick Willie. It was the last time I would have a conversation with him. He passed away quietly at 4:20am on October 30, 2006.
Dad had contracted MM from his tour of duty in Vietnam.We never knew anything about his tour until the end of his life because what he did in 'nam was still, apparently classified. He was a wounded vet who was awarded the Silver Star--another thing we didn't know. Upon requesting burial in Arlington National Cemetary, they denied him because his service was classified and they simply couldn't "verify" it. The same happened with his death benefits. They denied those as well because they simply couldn't verify that he was actually "in" Veitnam. I faxed them his military records. I called higher ups. It's been nearly seven months and I still don't have a comprehensive answer as to why...
My father loved his country. He served in the military and then as a civilian for many years. He was the perfect example of the American dream; son of immigrant parents, educated by the GI bill, worked for the Government and was a successful middle class family man. His country failed him, though. It exposed him to chemicals that abruptly ended his life at age 56. It failed to recognize his service upon his death. Most importnatly, it failed to recognize the importance of separation of chuch and state on such issues like Stem Cell research.
Kossacks, losing my dad was the most horrible thing for me and my family, espeically knowing that in 2001, President Bush could have made a decision that furthered research that could have saved him. The bills that he was burdened with throughout his illness were also a major issue. With every new treatment, a new batch of bills came through the door. He died with an estimated $100,000 due in medical bills alone.
We need to make sure that the democrats hear more stories like Ktakki's and mine. We need them to understand that if Stem Cell research is allowed, it could potentially save more people like my Dad. It has the promise of saving many more from many illnesses. It's about saving lives no matter what the religious right might say.
And that, Dad, is your birthday gift. My Promise to work harder to make people aware on the issue of Stem Cell Research.